


The Superior Species of Earth

by Gallifrey_Immigrant



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 10:05:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12679668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallifrey_Immigrant/pseuds/Gallifrey_Immigrant
Summary: Thanks to the Doctor, the Lord Miserum has seen the powerful reach of the Emu army. Here is the Lord's report.





	The Superior Species of Earth

_The Lord Miserum wishes to apologize for the disturbance to the Mistress of the House of Othar. We were not prepared for the fury of the superior species of Earth. They have great cunning, and sharp weaponry. I can not recommend the takeover of this planet._

 

_Thankfully, the Doctor warned us before we made a terrible tactical error. Her physical appearance matches that of the inferior species of Earth, but she is actually far more than her simian form. She claims to be a highly evolved alien organism, who travels on Earth, and her visage of a blonde woman is just a cover. When she heard of Lord Miserum's attempt to take over the resources, she was kind enough to warn us. There is a species here far more dangerous than mortals. Than the simians._

 

_There are the emus._

 

_They are birds, similar to the winged Byuchs of our home planet, but their skin is of a different felt, called “feathers.” Their mouths are made from sharp knives, meant for gouging out flesh. Their feet are tipped with claws that I saw slash several humans. There were no human fatalities, but there was much spilt blood._

 

_The Doctor took me to Owstraleea, where I saw the humans battle foolishly against their avian betters. The emus made squacking noises, clearly laughing at their gormless human opponents. The humans soon lost hope, and ran._

 

_The humans had projectile weapons, and manpower. But these emus continued to shrug off the attacks._

 

_The Doctor told me how she had faced the Daleks, the Cyber-men, even the Trods...but the emus made her quack in her boots. Her companion, Nirvi, started to laugh loudly at this. When I inquired what was so funny, Nirvi claimed that it was only at my foolishness at even thinking I could battle the Great Emus. Nirvi whispered to me later about how the Emus had once slaughtered her ancestors, and how their leader Lord Voldemort had spies everywhere. Clearly, these emus are not to be trifled with, and I thanked the Doctor and Nirvi profusely. Nirvi and the Doctor laughed from joy at my statements._

 

_Clearly, Mistress , these emus are a danger. Lord Miserum and I would highly advise staying away from this planet. Also, perhaps we should try to acquire some emus as well? For study._

 

 

To Lord Miserum and his messenger:

 

_Ah, Lord Miserum. Thank you for your report. Believe it or not, I have seen an emu before, and so I have drawn a clear conclusion._

 

_You are all idiots._


End file.
